“We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.”
- Robert Wilensky
On The Internet
Reply
Category Archives: Quotations
On Interpretations
“No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says; he is always convinced that it says what he means.”
- George Bernard Shaw
On Opinions and Facts
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but they are not entitled to their own facts.”
- Daniel Patrick Moynihan
On Fake Religious Prosecution
“You have confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want. It’s called being part of a society; not everything goes your way. You know, I don’t let my kids eat icecream every night – they wish I did, but even they know that doesn’t make me the Hitler of icecream.”
- Jon Stewart
Ethic of Reciprocity
“That which you want for yourself, seek for mankind.”
- Muhammad ibn ‘Abdullāh
Lawn Mower Irony
“I would prefer to have invented a machine that people could use and that would help farmers with their work — for example a lawn mower.”
- Mikhail Kalashnikov
How Does God Work?
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness.”
- Emo Philips
On Living Well
“‘The best revenge is living well.’ It is a wonderful expression. I just do not know how true it is. You do not see it turning up in a lot of opera plots. ‘Ludwig, maddened by the poisoning of his entire family, wreaks vengeance on Gunther in the third act by living well. Whereupon Woton, upon discovering his deception, wreaks vengeance on Gunther in the third act again by living even better than the Duke.’”
- Niles Crane
On The First Time
“I don’t think I could do it. They always remember the first time. I don’t want to be remembered I want to be forgotten.”
- George Costanza
