I believe that life is happy and death is sad
I believe my mum was married to my dad
I believe that things that aren’t good tend to be bad
Oh I believe
Yes I believe
I’m prepared to believe that Nixon wasn’t a crook
I’m prepared to believe Love Story’s a readable book
I believe the Dirty Dozen weren’t really dirty
I believe that Lucille Ball’s still under thirty
I believe Joe Thorn is clever
And Bob Hope will live forever
And that lever is pronounced ‘levver’
And the best movie ever made was Saturday Night ‘Fevver’
I believe that Colonel Sanders can fry
And that pigs and even DC-10s can fly
I’m prepared to believe that things go better with coke
And the Ayatollah tells a darn good knock-knock joke
I believe that some folk can hear what Bugs Bunny’s saying
And that Salt Lake City is a real nice place to stay in
I believe that JR really loves Sue Ellen
I believe that things sound better when you’re yelling
I believe that the devil is ready to repent
But I can’t believe Ronald Reagan is President
– Mel Smith, Pamela Stephenson, Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones
Knowledge Guild 
That’s funny, and quite closely echoed my own feelings at the time (but for the record, “Nickson” is spelled, “Nixon” – shhh!)
Ah, that’s a bad mistake. But nobody’s perfect!
I would not like to meet such a person, if one were to exist.