[An English Victorian sitting room. Thomas (Stephen Fry) is fiddling with a clock on the mantelpiece. John (Hugh Laurie) enters, agitated.]
John: Thomas! I’m afraid I have some bad news.
Thomas: Just a moment, John. I promised Marjorie I’d mend this clock for her. I wonder if you could give me a hand.
John: Big hand?
Thomas: Little hand.
John: Anyway Thomas, listen to me. I have some bad news.
Thomas: Bad news?
John: It’s Marjorie.
John: She’s had a fall.
Thomas: Marjorie’s had a fall?
John: I’m afraid so. She was out riding this morning on Thunderbolt, and she hadn’t returned by the time Mrs Mempwaster arrived. It turns out she’d had a fall.
Thomas: Calm yourself John. Marjorie has had a fall?
Thomas: Off a horse?
John: Well of course off a horse.
Thomas: I don’t see that there’s any “of course off a horse” about it, John. Girls nowadays are likely to fall off anything. Doesn’t have to be a horse.
John: No, alright. But in this case it was.
Thomas: She could have fallen off a chair, a table, a pianoforte, anything.
John: Yes, except that, in this case, she was riding a horse when it happened.
Thomas: When she fell off?
Thomas: So, you reasoned to yourself, Marjorie has fallen from a horse?
John: That’s right. Thunderbolt.
Thomas: Thunderbolt, you say?
Thomas: Well, Thunderbolt’s a horse, alright.
Thomas: Any damage?
John: Too soon to say. Cavendish is examining her now.
Thomas: That old fool. What does he know about horses?
John: Cavendish is examining Marjorie.
Thomas: Marjorie? Is she ill?
John: No. She fell off a horse.
Thomas: Fell off a horse? Then you’d better fetch Cavendish.
John: I have, Thomas. He’s in the drawing room.
Thomas: Horses are very big, John.
John: I know they are, Thomas.
Thomas: You fall off one of them, and anything can happen.
Thomas: Well not “anything”.
John: No. Not “anything”.
Thomas: I mean this clock isn’t going to become Prime Minister, just because someone has fallen off a horse. I didn’t mean “anything” is that sense.
John: Of course not, Thomas. Anyway, Cavendish is examining her now.
Thomas: You said he was in the drawing room.
John: He is. Examining Marjorie.
Thomas: And where is she?
John: She’s also in the drawing room.
Thomas: So they’re both in the drawing room?
Thomas: Perhaps he’s not such a fool after all. How is she?
John: Too soon to say. Sounds like a hell of a fall.
Thomas: From the horse?
Thomas: Now what the devil is Marjorie doing, falling off Thunderbolt?
John: You know how Marjorie loves to ride, Thomas.
Thomas: She was riding Thomas?
John: No no.
Thomas: I’m Thomas, John.
John: I know.
Thomas: She wasn’t riding me. Your story’s a bit twisted there, old fellow. It doesn’t add up. You said she was riding Thunderbolt.
John: She was.
Thomas: She was?
Thomas: But she’s not any longer?
John: No. She fell off.
Thomas: Good God.
John: I know.
Thomas: Where is she?
John: In the drawing room.
Thomas: Marjorie was riding Thunderbolt in the drawing room!?
John: No. She fell off at Stratton Brook, where the path separates. That young fellow Cottrell found her and carried her to the drawing room.
Thomas: Stables would have been better I should have thought.
Thomas: Drawing room’s no place for Thunderbolt.
Thomas: What do you mean?
John: Marjorie’s in the drawing room.
Thomas: With Thunderbolt?
John: No. Thunderbolt’s in the stables.
Thomas: Oh. Well that’s alright, then.
John: It’s not alright, Thomas. She’s had a bad fall.
Thomas: Is she hurt?
John: Too soon to say. Cavendish is with her now.
Thomas: Cavendish? He’s a doctor, isn’t he?
Thomas: I wonder if he knows anything about clocks.
– Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie: A Bit of Fry & Laurie (1989-1995)