Priorities of Science


‘I’m very impressed with this seedless watermelon product that they have for us. They’ve done it. We now have seedless watermelon. Pretty amazing. What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon, I wonder? The melons aren’t humping’, are they? They must be planting something. How does this work? And what kind of scientists do this type of work? I read this thing was 15 years in development. In the laboratories with gene splicing or, you know, whatever they do there… I mean, other scientists are working on AIDS, cancer, heart disease. These guys are going: “No, I’m going to devote myself to melon. I think that’s much more important. Sure thousands are dying needlessly but this… that’s gotta stop. Have you ever tried to pick a wet one off the floor, it’s almost impossible. I really think we should devote the money to these studies.”‘

Seinfeld, J. (1998). I’m Telling You For The Last Time. Broadhurst Theatre, New York: Universal Records.

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5 thoughts on “Priorities of Science

  1. Cloning?

    Actually, mules are essentially ‘seedless’ horse/donkeys, so there IS a precedent. But yes, the real issue here would be the priority – how much of my life is creating a seedless watermelon worth? And is there anything else I could be doing instead –?

  2. Actually I think scientists might be better spending their time messing with melons, than concocting toxic brews they call some kinds of medicine and that many medics, when surveyed, wouldn’t take themselves.

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