“Doing a dragrace with an auto is like doing the hundred metre sprint in wellies full of tadpoles.”
– Jeremy Clarkson
Automatic Gearbox Dragrace
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Category Archives: Clarkson
On Working With Cars
“If a mechanic can do this, how come he’s not a brain surgeon?”
– Jeremy Clarkson
On Belgium
“Belgium; a country invented by England and Germany to sort out their differences.”
– Jeremy Clarkson
On Useless Road Signs
“The falling rocks sign – you’re driving on a single one-way road. What are you supposed to do exactly?”
– Jeremy Clarkson
Democratic Bus
“I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”
– Jeremy Clarkson
Best Of The Worst
“This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'”
– Jeremy Clarkson
Love Speed
“Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”
– Jeremy Clarkson
On A Flappy-Paddle Gearbox
“The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… ‘Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power station – I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m going to swap some cogs around!'”
– Jeremy Clarkson
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