Conversations: Evil Atheists?

Lysandra
If you are right to believe that religious faith offers the only real basis for morality, then atheists should be less moral than believers. In fact, they should be utterly immoral. Are they?

Helena
No. Do members of atheist organizations in the United States commit more than their fair share of violent crimes? Do the members of the National Academy of Sciences, 93 percent of whom reject the idea of God, lie and cheat and steal with abandon? We can be reasonably confident that these groups are at least as well behaved as the general population. And yet, atheists are the most reviled minority in the United States.

13/v mmxv

There is no archaeological evidence that Masada’s defenders committed mass suicide.

Queen Elizabeth I was born at the Palace of Placentia, Greenwich.

Flamingo milk is bright red. Both mother and father flamingos produce it.

In 2008, the wife of the President of Kenya received a salary of $92,000; in a country where the average worker’s income was less than $400 per year at the time.

In the first chapter of Mein Kampf, Adolf Hitler writes he is doing God’s work and executing God’s will in exterminating the Jews.

See other: Quite Interesting Facts

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In Britain, it is illegal for a political party in an election to call itself ‘None of the Above’. This is to prevent the words appearing on ballot papers; presumably, there is a fear that the NOTA party would win by a landslide.

Michael J Fox’s middle name is Andrew.

Karaoke means “empty orchestra” in Japanese.

In the Oxford English Dictionary, the first use of the word ‘sponge-cake’ is attributed to Jane Austen.

The first treaty Adolf Hitler ever made as a dictator was with the Vatican.

See other: Quite Interesting Facts

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

‘To get to the other side’ is a bit too simplistic. So, to remedy that, here are a number of interesting and more original replies to this famous – and surprisingly old – anti-humour riddle joke:

‘There are ‘quips and quillets’ which seem actual conundrums, but yet are none. Of such is this: ‘Why does a chicken cross the street?’ – The Knickerbocker, or The New York Monthly, March 1847, p. 283

Douglas Adams: 42.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential. It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an Herculean achievement formerly relegated to Homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

Salvador Dali: A melting fish.

Charles Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. After all, chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Jacques Derrida: What is the difference? The chicken was merely deferring from one side of the road to other. And how do we get the idea of the chicken in the first place? Does it exist outside of language? Also, any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is dead.

Rene Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.

Epicurus: For pleasure.

Michel Foucault: It did so because the discourse of crossing the road left it no choice – the police state was oppressing it.

Sigmund Freud: The chicken was obviously female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverständlich. However, the fact that you are at all concerned about why the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Stephen Jay Gould: It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behaviour, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviours that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Heraclitus: A chicken cannot cross the same road twice.

Adolf Hitler: It needed Lebensraum.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Doug Hofstadter: To seek explication of the correspondence between appearance and essence through the mapping of the external road-object onto the internal road-concept.

James Joyce: To forge in the smithy of its soul the uncreated conscience of its race.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Immanuel Kant: Because it would have this be a universal law.

Martin Luther King: It had a dream.

Gottfried von Leibniz: In this best possible world, the road was made for it to cross.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken’s dominion maintained. In any case, the end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle. It was a historical inevitability.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Moses: And the LORD spake unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

J.R.R. Tolkien: The chicken, sunlight coruscating off its radiant yellow- white coat of feathers, approached the dark, sullen asphalt road and scrutinized it intently with its obsidian-black eyes. Every detail of the thoroughfare leapt into blinding focus: the rough texture of the surface, over which countless tires had worked their relentless tread through the ages; the innumerable fragments of stone embedded within the lugubrious mass, perhaps quarried from the great pits where the Sons of Man laboured not far from here; the dull black asphalt itself, exuding those waves of heat which distort the sight and bring weakness to the body; the other attributes of the great highway too numerous to give name. And then it crossed it.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Kurt Vonnegut: There is no “why”, there only “is”. So it goes.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of “crossing” was encoded into the objects “chicken” and “road”, and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

On Hitler’s Dictatorship

“Hitler’s dictatorship differed in one fundamental point from all its predecessors in history. His was the first dictatorship in the present period of technical development, a dictatorship which made complete use of all technical means for the domination of its own country. Through technical means like the radio and the loud-speaker, eighty million people were deprived of independent thought. It was thereby possible to subject them to the will of one man.”

– Albert Speer

Did Hitler Chew The Carpets?

A lot of gossip, nonsense and hearsay is often spoken about people with great historical significance. Adolf Hitler is no exception.

Stamp of Nazi Germany, depicting Adolf Hitler as the Führer of the Reich

Contrary to uneducated popular belief, Hitler was not a homosexual, communist, socialist, atheist, or vegetarian (Reichsführer-SS Himmler was a strict vegetarian; he also believed in astrology and homoeopathy, and claimed to speak with the dead), Hitler never tortured animals, he did not only play White in chess, nor is there any evidence to suggest that he had only one descended testicle (a phenomenon known as cryptorchidism – Mao Zedong suffered from this condition).

The Führer was however, a bit unstable. In fact, there is strong evidence to suggest that the Führer was a paranoid rageaholic.

In his novel HhhH (Himmler’s brains are called Heydrich), Laurent Binet examines the historical evidence whether, once or twice during a meeting, Hitler leaped onto the floor and started chewing the carpet in a blind fit of rage.

‘During the Sudeten crisis the first signs of madness of the Führer were revealed. In those days, the mere mention of Beneš and the Czechs made him so livid he would lose his self-control completely. People have witnessed him throwing himself to the floor and chewing the carpet out of sheer anger. Those fits of madness gave him the nickname Teppichfresser (carpet-eater) among his enemies. I do not know whether he made a habit of chewing the carpets when he completely lost his temper, or whether the symptom disappeared after the Munich agreement.[*]

* Some argue that ‘carpet-eating’ is a German expression which is comparable to the French ‘eating one’s hat’ (to change one’s opinion) and that foreign correspondents have interpreted the expression too literally, which would explain how Hitler got sullied with this legend. However, I have examined the evidence and found no trace of the idiomatic use of the expression.’

– Binet. L. 2010. HhhH [Hitler’s Brains are called Heydrich] Amsterdam, The Netherlands: Meulenhoff (2013) p. 82

On Fake Religious Prosecution

“You have confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want. It’s called being part of a society; not everything goes your way. You know, I don’t let my kids eat icecream every night – they wish I did, but even they know that doesn’t make me the Hitler of icecream.”

– Jon Stewart

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The word geranium is spelt the same in French, Latin and Dutch. It comes from geranos, the Greek word for ‘crane’.

Gerald Ford in 1974

There are more than 300 species of geranium. Over 100 million geranium plants are grown and sold commercially every year.

Gerald Rudolph Ford (1913-2006), who served as 38th President of the USA, is the only US President who was never elected as either President or Vice President. His real name was Leslie Lynch King Jr. He didn’t find this out until he was 17, when his real father confronted him in a cafe.

During the Second World War, 70,000 tons of German bombs fell on Britain, killing 60,000 people.

In 2003, a poll of three million Germans voted Konrad Adenauer the greatest German of all time. Martin Luther came second and Karl Marx came third. No one was allowed to vote for Adolf Hitler.

See other: Quite Interesting Facts