On Fake Religious Prosecution

“You have confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want. It’s called being part of a society; not everything goes your way. You know, I don’t let my kids eat icecream every night – they wish I did, but even they know that doesn’t make me the Hitler of icecream.”

– Jon Stewart

On Gay Parents

“I think you are looking at sexuality and not attributes, and I think it’s odd because the conservative mantra is a meritocracy. And I think what you’re suggesting is the fact that being gay parents makes you not as good as others. And I would suggest that a loving, gay family with a financially secure background beats the hell out of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline any day of the week.”

Jon Stewart