I Believe

I believe that life is happy and death is sad
I believe my mum was married to my dad
I believe that things that aren’t good tend to be bad
Oh I believe
Yes I believe

I’m prepared to believe that Nixon wasn’t a crook
I’m prepared to believe Love Story’s a readable book
I believe the Dirty Dozen weren’t really dirty
I believe that Lucille Ball’s still under thirty

I believe Joe Thorn is clever
And Bob Hope will live forever
And that lever is pronounced ‘levver’
And the best movie ever made was Saturday Night ‘Fevver’

I believe that Colonel Sanders can fry
And that pigs and even DC-10s can fly
I’m prepared to believe that things go better with coke
And the Ayatollah tells a darn good knock-knock joke

I believe that some folk can hear what Bugs Bunny’s saying
And that Salt Lake City is a real nice place to stay in
I believe that JR really loves Sue Ellen
I believe that things sound better when you’re yelling
I believe that the devil is ready to repent
But I can’t believe Ronald Reagan is President

– Mel Smith, Pamela Stephenson, Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones