A History of People

Except for three gaps, the following nineteen people were alive in each other’s lifetime; Thomas Aquinas, William of Ockham, Leonardo da Vinci, Elizabeth I of England, William Shakespeare and Isaac Newton, however, could not have actually met, they were merely alive in the same century. Together, these nineteen people cover almost a thousand years of history.

1. Anselm of Canterbury (1033-1109)
2. William of Malmesbury (c. 1095-c. 1143)
3. Frederick Barbarossa (1122-1190)
4. Genghis Khan (c. 1162-1227)
5. Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)

6. William of Ockham (c. 1285-1347)
7. Geoffrey Chaucer (c. 1343-1400)
8. Henry V of England (1387-1422)
9. Johannes Gutenberg (1398-1468)
10. Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519)

11. Elizabeth I of England (1533-1603)
12. William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

13. Isaac Newton (1643-1727)
14. Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750)
15. Immanuel Kant (1724-1804)
16. Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
17. Charles Darwin (1809-1882)
18. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
19. Stephen Hawking (1942-)

Marriage in Ancient Greece

‘Among the citizen population in the Athens of Plato and Aristotle boys and girls were reared separately, and the boys attended school but the girls did not. Polygamy was forbidden but flourished informally as concubinage practiced by married men. For this and other reasons, including a shortage of women because of female infanticide, girls married young and the husband usually was considerably older than the wife. As a result of this age difference, the low average age of marriage for girls (about 16), the prevalence of arranged marriage, the practice of sequestering women, and the difference in educational attainments between the spouses, marriage was not companionate. Spouses were not good friends, united by bonds of love and trust and by shared interests, values, and experiences. They did not socialize together, did not even take meals together. And there was no expectation that the husband would be faithful to his wife–just that he would not bring his concubines into the marital home. Remember that one function of sex is to cement relationships. The thinner the relationship between husband and wife, the less demand there is for the cement of sex.’

– Posner. R.A. 1992. Sex and Reason Cambridge, United States: Harvard University Press (1992) p. 146

Non-monogamy

For centuries, the Judeo-Christian moral code has defined the official relationship standard in western-society – the monogamous relationship:

• monogamy, an exclusive relationship with one partner.

There are quite a number of variations on the ‘standard’ monogamous relationship. The blanket term is non-monogamy. This phenomenon is also defined as polyamory, in which participants have not one but multiple romantic and/or sexual partners. Forms of non-monogamy include:

• infidelity, in which a person has a sexual ‘affair’ outside of an otherwise monogamous relationship;
• casual relationship, an emotional relationship between two unmarried people who may also have a sexual relationship;
• open marriage, in which one or both members of a committed couple may become sexually active with other partners;
• swinging, several open relationships which are commonly conducted as an organized social activity;
• ménage à trois, a sexual (or sometimes domestic) arrangement involving three people of either sex;
• orgy (also known as, a sexual relationship involving more than two sexual participants at the same time;
• polyfidelity, in which participants have multiple partners but restrict sexual activity to within a certain group;
• polygynandry (also known as a group marriage), in which several people form a single family unit, with all considered to be married to one another;
• polygamy, in which one person in a relationship has married multiple partners;
• polyandry, in which women have multiple husbands;
• polygyny, in which men have multiple wives;
• plural marriage, a form of polygyny associated with the Latter Day Saint movement in the 19th-century and with present-day splinter groups from that faith.

Some Nuggets Of Wisdom

1. “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
2. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
3. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
4. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
5. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
6. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
7. Spend some time alone every day.
8. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
9. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
10. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
11. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
12. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
13. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
14. Be gentle with the earth.
15. Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.
16. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
17. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”

– Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Limerence‏

An involuntary state of mind which seems to result from a romantic attraction for another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one’s feelings reciprocated.

A photograph called ‘After a year of limerence’

In simple terms, limerence is a state of mind when you know that you like someone but yet at the same time, you cannot describe it as love.

Standard attachment theory emphasises that many of the most intense emotions arise during the formation, the maintenance, the disruption, and the renewal of attachment relationships.

It has therefore been suggested that the state of limerence is the conscious experience of sexual incentive motivation during attachment formation.

Courtship

Courtship is the period in a couple’s relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. In courtship, a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family approval. Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it has been perceived that it is the role of a male to actively ‘court’ or ‘woo’ a female, thus encouraging her interest in him and her receptiveness to a proposal of marriage. In the western world, this concept of gender roles in courtship is changing, or has changed, in many societies.

An Early 1800s Couple

While the so-called date is fairly casual in most European-influenced cultures, in some traditional societies, courtship is a highly structured activity, with very specific formal rules.

In some societies, the parents or community propose potential partners, and then allow limited dating to determine whether the parties are suited. In Japan, there is a such type of courtship called Omiai, with similar practices called Xiangqin in the Greater China Area.

Parents will hire a matchmaker to provide pictures and résumés of potential mates, and if the couple agrees, there will be a formal meeting with the matchmaker and often parents in attendance. The matchmaker and parents will often exert pressure on the couple to decide whether they want to marry or not after a few dates.

Courtship in the Philippines is one known complex form of courtship. Unlike what is regularly seen in other societies, it takes a far more subdued and indirect approach. It is complex in that it involves stages, and it is considered normal for courtship to last a year or longer. It is common to see the male showing off by sending love letters and love poems, singing romantic songs and buying gifts for the female. The parents are also seen as part of the courtship practice, as their approval is commonly needed before courtship may begin, or before the female gives the male an answer to his advances.

In more closed societies, courtship is virtually eliminated altogether by the practice of arranged marriages, where partners are chosen for young people, typically by their parents. Forbidding experimental and serial courtship and sanctioning only arranged matches is partly a means of guarding the chastity of young people and partly a matter of furthering family interests, which in such cultures may be considered more important than individual romantic preferences.

See other: Hall of Fame Posts

Philophilia Amoris

“Philophilia Amoris: A particular preference or love for an equal friendship mainly stimulated by intellectual, humorous and openly free exchanges enthused by non-committal soft physical contact. The individuals in question allow each other to enter the proxemic intimate so-called close phase. A harmless condition set on fire – its post-reaction residue.”

– Willem Etsenmaker

Based on the concept of philia as coined by Aristotle in his Rhetoric part: (1380b36–1381a2) ‘[…] wanting for someone what one thinks good, for his sake and not for one’s own, and being inclined, so far as one can, to do such things for him.’

Polygamy [Noun.]

‘Often married’ is a form of marriage in which a person has more than one spouse at the same time, as opposed to monogamy in which a person has only one spouse at a time. For instance, when a man has more than one wife. If a marriage includes multiple husbands and wives, it is usually called a group marriage.

“Polygamy: An endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it.” – Elbert Hubbard

In social anthropology, polygamy is the practice of a person’s making him or herself available for two or more spouses to mate with. In contrast, monogamy is a marriage consisting of only two parties. Like monogamy, the term is often used in a de facto sense, applied regardless of whether the relationships are recognized by the state.

“One wife, you’re happy, two and you’re tired, three and they’ll hate each other, four and they’ll hate you.” – Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

In sociobiology, polygamy is used in a broad sense to mean any form of multiple mating. In a narrower sense, used by zoologists, polygamy includes a pair bond, perhaps temporary.

See other: Admin’s Choice Posts