Church Marquees in The Simpsons

Listed below is a collection of messages displayed at the marquee of The First Church of Springfield as featured in The Simpsons:

  • Private Wedding, Please Worship Elsewhere [Episode No. 102]
  • No Synagogue Parking [No. 170]
  • Next Sunday: The Miracle Of Shame [No. 175]
  • Today’s Topic: He Knows What You Did Last Summer [No. 213]
  • Today’s Topic: There’s Something About The Virgin Mary [No. 234]
  • Today’s Topic: Life In Hell [No. 237]
  • If You Were A Pastor, You’d Be Home By Now! [No. 290]
  • Welcome Pissed-Off Catholics [No. 298]
  • Now with only nine commandments! [No. 314]
  • We Welcome Other Faiths (Just Kidding) [No. 328]
  • Rapture Threat Level: Orange [No. 343]
  • Today: Bobble-Head Moses Giveaway [No. 355]
  • Quit St3aling Our L3tt3rs [No. 359]
  • Today’s Topic: Jesus Hates You [No. 372]
  • Today: Church Council Meeting Topic: Religion [No. 377]
  • Today: Shadrach, The Other Friend Of Meshach [No. 435]
  • Free Wi-Fi During Sermon [No. 455]
  • We’ve Run Out Of Consoling Phrases [No. 503]
  • Communion in 30 minutes or less or your service is free! [No. 514]
  • Jesus on Twitter: #idiedforyoursins [No. 526]

2 thoughts on “Church Marquees in The Simpsons

  1. These are the titles of the cited episodes: “Lady Bouvier’s Lover”; “My Sister, My Sitter”; “In Marge We Trust”; “Viva Ned Flanders”; “Take My Wife, Sleaze”; “Faith Off”; “The Frying Game”; “Special Edna”; “Treehouse of Horror XIV”; “Co-Dependent’s Day”; “Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass”; “Home Away from Homer”; “Milhouse of Sand and Fog”; “Million-Dollar Abie”; “The Monkey Suit”
    “Wedding for Disaster”; “Postcards from the Wedge”; “Them, Robot”; “A Tree Grows in Springfield”; “Pulpit Friction”.

  2. I watch for those every time, as well as what the billboard will say on the opening and Bart’s chalkboard punishments.

    Today: Bobble-Head Moses Giveaway [No. 355]

    As close as I can get:

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